If *I* Helped to De-Gnome the Weasley Garden
by Jocelyn Magus
Summary: This is simply meant to be funny. It's not a sappy love story in any way. This is what would have happened if *I* was there. Mwahahahaha


This is what would happen if *I* was present with Ron, Harry, Fred and George when they were de-gnoming the garden.  
  
  
Kelly looked at the little wood-like creature Ron was holding up for her and Harry to see.   
  
"That's a gnome?" she asked dubiously. She snuck a glance at Harry and saw he was as surprised as she. After all, they were both raised by muggles. (And you want to know why? Because I AM a muggle! mwahahahaha!)  
  
"Gerroff me!" the gnome yelled at them. Then both she and Harry blanched when Ron started swinging the gnome around over his head.  
  
"What are you doing!?" Kelly yelled as she watched the poor thing getting swung around like a lasso.  
  
"Don't worry," Ron assured her, glancing between her and Harry and continuing to swing the gnome."It doesn't hurt them. It just makes them dizzy so they can't find their way back."  
Harry and Kelly both exchanged glances that said without words "I'm going easy on them, the poor things." Harry picked up a gnome by his legs and started to carry him over to the fence to drop him, when the gnome, sensing weakness, bit his finger. While Harry was shaking his hand in a futile attempt to get the gnome detached, Kelly had just fished a gnome out of the bushes by his tiny little legs and had just begun her own fence-ward journey when hers too bit her.  
  
"You ungrateful little--!" Kelly started, then smacked her hand, gnome addition and all, against the wall of the house, where he landed with a sharp WHAP and fell to the ground, scuttling off. Just then she heard Ron in the background.  
  
"Wow, Harry! That must have been 50 feet!" Ron exclaimed.  
  
"These guys are gonna pay for messing with me," Kelly proclaimed as she whipped out her wand.  
  
"Accio golf driver!" And a pro-gold driver appeared in her hand. She glared around the yard, Fred, George, Ron and Harry all stopping what they were doing to stare.  
  
"Kelly, what are you--" Ron started to say, but stopped short as Kelly chased the offending gnome that had bitter her around the yard.  
  
"Fore!" she yelled as she brought the club back for a good swing and FWAP! The gnome went flying, screaming at the top of it's lungs.  
  
"Wow....I don't think he'll be coming back any time soon...." Harry remarked as Fred and George started laughing hysterically.  
  
"What did you call that?" Ron asked anxiously, nodding toward the golf club in her hand.  
  
"A golf driver." Kelly muttered absently, already searching from her next gnome/victum.  
  
"Accio Golf Driver!" Fred, George and Ron all yelled at the same time. Harry just stood there with his jaw agape for a moment, then, since he didn't have his wand on him, he picked up a dead tree branch, which was almost as effective.  
Soon the air was thick with flying gnomes and voices yelling "Fore!" quickly followed by "Ahhhhh!" from a gnome.  
  
"Is that all of them?" Kelly asked Ron as she looked around.  
  
"I think so. This was the most fun I've ever had with a chore! Thanks Kelly!"   
  
"That'll teach them to bite me." Kelly said with a smirk. As they all turned to go back into the house, the sound of someone blowing a very loud and obnoxious raspberry resounded through the garden. Kelly froze, gripping her club a little tighter, then spun around and ran at the offending gnome, which was already running away in a fit of giggles. But nothing can match Kelly in her rage and she quickly caught up to it.  
  
"Oh no you don't!" She yelled and grabbed it's knobby legs. She stuck it's hat in the ground so it was in a head stand, then yelled "FORE!" and whacked it good with her club. As she watched it fly into the distance all that could be heard by those in the garden was "This gnome's blasting off againnnnnnn!" as it faded into the sky and just as it was out of sight, it twinkled like a star then was gone.  
  
"And that, my friends, is MY way to de-gnome a garden!" Kelly said, and led the way back into the house with utmost dignity, head held high. 


End file.
